In my last post we discussed Physical Wellness (you can read it here). This week, let’s circle around the Wellness Wheel clockwise and talk about Social Wellness.
Social Wellness is the ability to relate to and connect with other people in our world.
Oh boy. I won’t lie. This is probably one of the toughest areas of wellness for me. Why–you ask? I’m an introvert. BIG TIME. I love people–don’t get me wrong. But, as with most introverts, I have to be careful because too much “peopling” can overwhelm me and cause me a lot of stress. Super Rockstar is an introvert too. Just say the words “let’s break into small groups” and you’ll see sheer panic in his eyes. We need our social time, but we also need plenty of quiet and down time.
Alone time is all fine and good– but,for me, it needs to be limited. No one should spend that much time living inside their own head. Recently, I went through a phase where I cut off most all my social interactions. I knew I had I taken it too far when realized I was talking out loud in my home to no one in particular–just to hear the sound of my own voice. It also had become obvious that during the few social times I had (MOPS or Bible study groups)–I noticed I was completely out of practice in having conversations.
For those of you that are extroverts–all of this will be very foreign to you. I mean, who doesn’t want to just chat the day away and spend oodles of time around other human beings? My dear sister tends to be more of an extrovert. I always thought it was kind of interesting during our growing up years that whenever we observed someone eating alone in a restaurant she would feel sorry for them–thinking they were lonely. Meanwhile I would be thinking “man, they are SO lucky”. I’ll be honest–I didn’t recognize myself as an introvert until well into my adult years. When I was young–such a thing was considered odd and undesirable. It was thought that only shy or depressed people were introverts and it was not something that anyone wanted to be.
Now I realize that even though I require my quiet–I also really need good, close friends in my life. We were not created to live in lonely isolation. We were created to have relationships and, no, those relationships are not always going to be easy and fun–most will require effort and work. In 1 Samuel 22:2 it records how David was on the run and alone. It says “All those that were in distress, or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their leader”. I’ll bet their “guys night out” was a real hoot. BUT, here’s the thing. They didn’t stay that way. Over time these Wendy Whiners became what David would later call his “Mighty Men”. They were his best friends, his trusted companions–his crew.
That’s what I long for. I realize it’s going to take a lot more effort on my part. It’s not going to be like when I was in high school and college–where I had wonderful friends that would just call me and drag me out to wherever with them. I look back and realize how blessed I was to have those friends who always included me. Now, I need to be the one that is willing to reach out, to take a step forward, to invite, to spend time, and to open up my life. This is really hard for me. But, I have reached the point in my life when I would much rather try and be rejected than to keep facing the isolation that has consumed me for far too long. My refrigerator and microwave have gotten pretty weary of hearing me blather on all day. I think I’ve even heard rumblings that there’s going to be some sort of “breaking down” and “needing to be replaced” going on.
My goals for growing in Social Wellness are:
- Invite more friends into my life.
- Try to do something social with a friend (or 2 or 3) once a month.
- Nurture and invest in the friendships I already have.
How about you? How do you plan to be better about “relating to and connecting” with other people in our world. Please feel free to share in the comments below or on any of the social media sites I post on.
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:12-13
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