Coffee Break–Vol. 5

A weekly list of things accomplished, enjoyed, learned, tried and remembered.

1.Mental health and a moment of panic. We had a bit of a scare this week.  Our older son, Morgan, has been dealing with a lot of Middle School angst this year.  As with most kids his age, he is dealing with a lot of highs and lows emotionally and is having to learn how to express those emotions in a healthy way.  Earlier in the school year, we were hearing from his teachers that whenever he got really frustrated–either from an assignment that felt overwhelming or from kids bullying him–he would cry out in despair “I want to just die” or “Lord, please take me now”.

The school, by law, is required to do suicide assessments anytime a child even utters the words.  So 3 times this school year, Morgan has had to be evaluated and 3 times has been found to be, yes, very frustrated emotionally and maybe even mildly depressed, but–no, he’s not suicidal.  To help him learn to express his emotions in a healthier way (and hopefully avoid more assessments) we decided he needed to meet with a counselor.

What I did not know, but now have learned, is that there is also a law that states that if anyone at his school performing these assessments or any counselor/therapist feels that Morgan is in any danger of harming himself–they are required to call an ambulance and have him immediately taken to a psychiatric hospital and put on a 72 hour (sometimes up to 2 weeks)watch–without us.  They would be required to tell us what they are doing, but we would be powerless to stop them and not allowed to see him for 3-14 days.  Meanwhile they would probably give him all sorts of medications and treatments without our consent.

The counselor we brought Morgan to was right on the edge of making this call.  We, thankfully, were able to convince him that our home is Morgan’s “safe place”–that ripping him away from that would destroy him and would make things much worse.  We had spent months building him up to even talking about his feelings with a stranger.  It would have been devastating that the trust he put in us and allowed himself to have in this stranger be yanked away by an over the top, completely unnecessary act of panic.

I get it that counselors feel they are acting a child’s best interests in doing this–sort of.  If we felt that our child was in any danger of harming himself –we would have taken him to a mental health facility.  But, in this case, Morgan was just speaking words because of a desperateness he felt to be heard. He had no intentions of harming himself.  But, try to explain that to a counselor that you’ve just brought your son to–who doesn’t know him, hasn’t asked us very many questions, and hears our son say things like “I just want to go to heaven”.

In this case, it felt like we were having to talk our counselor “down from the ledge”.  It all ended fine, but there was a moment of time when my son’s life and future literally hung in the balance.  Taking care of our own and our children’s mental and emotional health is so important.  I just wish I had known about these laws ahead of time–I would have felt a lot more prepared and would have had a prep conversation with the counselor that probably would have saved us from our own emotional angst.

2. Bible study. I try to do a Bible study at our church every fall and winter.  This semester we are doing a Jen Wilkin study called “God of Creation”. It’s all about the first 11 chapters of Genesis and it’s been SO good. If you’ve never done a Jen Wilkin’s study–she’s a wonderful teacher and I also really like that the homework is not too heavy.  She focuses a lot on what she calls “getting comfortable with the unknown”. She encourages you to use your own noggin to seek answers to questions through prayer and personal Bible study and to not rely on commentaries until after the study.  It’s unique because we often want the answers just handed to us.  This approach is sometimes a little harder but, it makes it a lot more personal and meaningful.

3. More Science Fair. It was Grayson’s turn to do his science fair project.  He had to present it to his class on and was SO nervous about it.  Thankfully, it sounds like his class was very impressed with his Borax crystals experiment.  They also got to display them for all the parents to come and see.  It was so cute to see each child standing next to their projects and answering the questions of the curious family members.  I loved seeing his pride in knowing that he had done a good job.

4. Doggie day out. Barney, our beagle we adopted just 5 months ago, has formed a pretty strong attachment to me.  Sometimes, I get worried that he’s become a little TOO attached–he follows me everywhere. And I do mean EVERYWHERE. Anytime I leave our home without him, he apparently whines and acts worried until I get home. I don’t think it’s anything special except that I am the one who feeds him, takes him for walks and am home more than the others in my family. But, alas–I am his favorite human right now and I suppose I don’t mind having such loving adoration from this cute fella.  Yesterday, the weather was getting pretty cold and crummy which meant we couldn’t go for a walk, but I did decide to go pick up some take out.  Barney saw me getting my coat and shoes on and went berserk.  He was worked up in a such frenzy because he was SO certain he was going wherever I was.  How could I disappoint him? So, my trusty side kick went with me on a grand adventure to hit a couple of drive through’s for burgers and fries.  Did I share any food with him? Nope–I love him, but I don’t like cleaning up doggie puke. But, he didn’t seem to mind–he was just so happy to just be along for the ride.

5. Gig night at The Hogan. After a two week break, it was time for Super Rockstar’s band, SofaKillers, to have a double gig weekend (gigs on Friday and Saturday night).  This weekend they played at a place called, Johnny’s Navajo Hogan. It’s one of the Springs oldest bars–built back in 1935 and has a very unique interior–kind of looks like a wooden beehive.  Their food is delicious and many make a whole night of it–have dinner and then stay all night for the live music.  I went Friday night and it was PACKED.  A great night of dancing and listening to my favorite band with the hot lead singer do some new tunes–including Mr. Roboto (oh yes they did).