If you are needing to feel better about your life and the day to day choices you make–you’re going to feel GREAT after reading this.
Gather round kids, it’s story time:
To begin our story you’re going to want to keep this picture in mind– as it becomes a key character in this little narrative:
Once upon a time long, long ago there was a blonde girl who wholeheartedly lived up to her hair color. One day she and her husband were out shopping for a car– for him. He had long wanted a Jeep Wrangler and had spent weeks scouring the For Sale column in the newspaper (this was WAY before Craigslist) searching for his quest. At long last, he found a promising one being sold at a nearby car dealership. They whisked away in the car they would trade in– should this Jeep be the one he was hoping for. As they pulled into the lot, his eyes were mesmerized as he caught his first glimpse of the bright yellow Jeep Wrangler with the 4″ lift kit, big tires and low miles. She could tell by the look on his face that he already owned it in his mind– it was just figuring out trivial matters–finalizing a price and figuring out the paperwork. The test drive was a mere detail — he was excitedly talking about fishing trips, road trips, and how he would feel in owning this car, this Jeep–his dream come true!
As they walked up to the sales building, the salesman too, could sense that this car was as good as sold. The couple sat in a pair of matching chairs in front of his desk and he began the process of “crunching the numbers”. The delicate balance of what price the dealership would sell the Jeep for and what value he would give for their trade in car was going to determine whether or not they got to drive away with that shiny bright yellow Jeep. “So, we’ll just need to take a look at your trade in”, the salesman said. They had parked on the other end of the lot (close to where the Jeep had been on display) and so–being the ever helpful wife– she offered to go move their car closer to the sales building thinking that would make it easier for them to hurry along their inspection. As she walked toward their car, her head was in the clouds. “This was going to be a great day!” she thought. “He is FINALLY going to get to have the jeep he’s wanted for so long!”
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Now, here’s the part of the story where I need to back up a bit. You see, this parking lot was rather old and had not been kept in the best of repair. Do you remember the picture I showed you at the beginning of the story? Now, imagine, if you will, that lamp post without the lamp on top of it? It’s just a cement cylinder–and kind of crumbling on the top.
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So, she hopped in her car–her head still in the clouds, and put the car in drive. As in to drive forward.
As the car rolled forward she heard a very loud CRUNCH!!!(I wish I could make sound effects like my boys–just try to imagine the worst crunching, scraping, clunking noise and you’ll get the picture) Now, most folks, when they hear a loud crunch will immediately stop their car, get out and investigate. For some reason, unknown to her to this day, she did not. She put the car in reverse and backed up as fast as she could. An even bigger CRUNCH along with a sickening metal scraping tearing sound. “What in the world?!” she though as she was rattled out of her fantasy of them owning the shiny bright yellow Jeep.
Upon exiting the car she (with dropped jaw) saw her bumper ripped from the front–half still intact and half scraping the ground. At first it didn’t register, but she quickly reacted and lifted the bumper back up into place, trying to tuck it and shove it back into place. “It’s not that bad. I can make this work–it’s just a bumper. No worries.” That’s when she looked up and noticed– for the first time– the cement cylinder that had been unseen from the view of her perch in the car.
With a sinking heart she realized–it wasn’t just the bumper that got damaged. She peered reluctantly under the car hoping and praying that it wouldn’t be nearly as bad as she feared. But, she discovered that as she had “run over” the cylinder when she drove forward and backed up over it when she reversed, it had scraped the bottom of their car to beyond recognition. It was like something from a horror movie–like Freddy Krueger had come and slashed up the entire front base of their car.
The reality hit hard. She knew that there was no way to hide this. There was nothing she could do but go tell her husband the bad, bad, bad, really bad news. She knew she had to tell him quick because when she had left moments earlier, he was already filling out forms. So she sprinted across the lot to the sales building (not sure why she ran–I think driving the damaged car was too much evidence of her guilt to present to the world at that moment). The salesman’s desk was right near the window and he had his back to her, but her husband was facing the window. With as much skill as she could muster, she tried to signal him to get out of there. She flapped her arms like she was trying to land an airplane, loud whispering his name to try get his attention. Since she was making quite a spectacle, he soon looked in her direction. Upon seeing him make eye contact with her she frantically started making a slicing motion across her throat (you know, the universal motion for “cut”). But, all that registered in his face was confusion. It was obvious he was a little perturbed that she was interrupting the sales negotiations, but she knew that perturbed would be a nice oasis to the disbelief and anger he was going to be feeling any second. When he finally came out, and just gave her a rather curt “what?!” She grabbed his hand and explained that there was something he needed to see. As they walked back to their car, she tried as best she could to explain what had happened and how it came to be that it had happened.
His disbelief registered immediately as they approached their, now mangled, car. He mimicked the exact behavior she had by trying to lift the torn bumper back up into place and then noticing the twisted beyond recognition metal underneath. The blood drained from his face as he fully realized the situation they were now in. He thought quickly and ran back and made some flimsy excuse to the salesman as to why they needed to leave immediately. They high tailed it out of there as quickly and quietly as they could. Well, as quietly as you can withhalf a bumper scraping on the ground.
The End
P.S. A few months later another shiny bright yellow Jeep was found for him and was a happy addition to their lives for many years. (although she was never able to live down what had happened on the car lot that day)
P.P.S. No one quite remembers what became of the damaged car. It’s like it was blissfully and mercifully erased from their minds forever.
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