In the Bible Romans 12:15 says “Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.” I am a very sensitive, emotional soul and when good things happen–no one whoops louder than me. But, when I hear of pain and loss and tragedy, I confess that it gets down deep inside me and sometimes leaves me feeling full of despair.
Last weekend there was a tragic car accident that killed a mother and her two young daughters in our town. I did not know them, but a friend of ours did.
Maybe it was the fact that a friend of ours knew them or maybe it’s because I’ve driven through that intersection dozens of times and I know the area well–but I tell you Super Rockstar and I have grieved their deaths as if we had known them all our lives. A life interrupted. When that mom communicated to her friends that she would soon be there to carve pumpkins with them at their party she had NO idea that –in a few short seconds– her life on this planet, along with her two beloved daughters, was ending. I hurt so deeply as I think about those they left behind–a Daddy of those girls, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends….the list is endless. Plans had been MADE. They were on their way to a PARTY!
I think what has really gotten to me is that I feel like I do know this woman. I am a lot like her. I travel with my kids all the time–making plans, heading places, going to play with friends. I will never know what was going through her mind when she sailed through an unseen stop sign, but I know that I have done something like that dozens of times; A split second mistake, a zoned out moment, a misstep. But, none of my mistakes have ever led to tragedy.
So, here comes the big question. Why? Why on that particular day, at that particular time, and in those particular circumstances were three beautiful souls swiped from this earth? The short answer is…. I don’t know. I believe 100% in God’s providence and I am a firm believer in when it’s your time–it’s your time. I also know we don’t get to choose that. What I am really struggling with is the whole sickening tragedy of it all and how it has rocked the lives of so many that were close to them–and even the lives of those of us who never knew them. I hurt so much because I know it could so easily be me.
It has made me realize how very fragile my existence on this planet is. I take so much for granted–that I will get to wake up every morning, trudge through our morning routine, kiss Super Rockstar good-bye and cart my kids to school. I fully expect that we will all be sitting around the dinner table that evening and it doesn’t ever occur to me that we won’t. To be honest, I find myself a little mad. Hearing of a life cut short feels awful.
I suppose that in a few weeks, this will have passed for me. I am aware that I will keep marching forward in my life and the memory of being touched by this tragedy will pass at some point. That’s our human nature–we have an innate need to heal and move on. But, in this in between time, I want to embrace the mourning and the deep sense of loss I feel for this family’s loved ones. I want to mourn and cry and pray for them. I want to plead with my loving God to meet them right where they are in their shell shocked grief and to bless them with the grace and strength and love to endure the cavernous hole left in their lives. I know He will because He has promised it in his Word. And unlike us–he doesn’t move on. He will stay right with each and every person that has been left behind and heal them right back into living life once again. I’ve witnessed him do it with my own friends and family so, I have big faith He will for this family too.
In my Bible study this week, the author spoke in her video about tragedy. She pointed out that so often we try to anticipate bad things happening and what we will do about it if it does (this is me–my hand is raised high). But, when we do that–it only brings anxiety and needless worry. She said that God doesn’t give us the grace to get through a tragedy until we are actually in the midst of the tragedy.
I have to be honest–I never thought about it this way. I so often spend a lot of time full of worry that something bad will happen. I find myself begging and pleading for a grace that is not mine to have right now. I want an exempt card. I want a promise that I won’t have to endure any suffering, tragedy, loss, or hard times while I’m alive here on earth. The hard truth is–that promise doesn’t exist. But, there is a promise that God will be with us in those times. In 2 Corinthians 1:3 Paul says He is “the Father of mercies and God of all comfort”. It goes on to say in verse 4 “who comforts us in all our tribulation (emphasis mine). It doesn’t say that He brings us comfort before the tribulation happens, but IN our tribulation.
That brings me comfort. I still want an exempt card, but now I realize that I don’t have to live my life in fear. Nobody wants bad things to happen, but if it does we ALL have this grace available to us. It’s there WHEN we need it. I pray you and I never will.
Psalm 45:3-4
Gird your sword upon your side, clothe yourself with splendor and majesty. In your majesty ride forth victoriously in behalf of truth, humility and righteousness; let your right hand display awesome deeds.