For a long time now I have felt the need to search out other options for education for my boys. To be clear– I fully support our current school. Oh sure, we’ve had problems here and there, but the good has always far outweighed the bad. My older son Morgan has always struggled with school. He is smart as a whip, but it became evident from the get go that sitting in a classroom, doing worksheets and participating in a traditional classroom setting were not what he was all about. He has rebelled against it in every way possible. I have cried about it in every way possible. It’s extremely difficult to have a child that has SO much learning potential not be at ALL interested in actually learning.
We have harped on him, we have yelled at him, we have taken away privileges–we even found ourselves bribing him if he would just show ANY effort at all. But, nothing has worked. It has been a very heartbreaking time because his academic behavior has started to affect his social behavior. The kids have caught on that Morgan is not doing what he was supposed to, he is in trouble a lot and they have started distancing themselves from him. It has hurt him so much to lose friends and feel like an outcast.
In watching my son’s behavior, grades and self esteem decline year after year, it occurred to me that maybe not every school handles things the way ours does. So, as much as I love our school and fully support their push toward academic excellence–I’ve decided to embark on a pretty big research project. I don’t want Morgan to just survive school–I want him to thrive. I want him to have teachers that see the spark in him that I do. I want them to not only inspire him to do better, I want them to care about him achieving his full potential. His behavior is just a symptom of a lot bigger issues. He’s crying out for someone to care and take notice, but most just get angry with him, ignore him and write him off as a failure. I want him to be in a learning environment that excites him and fosters his need for something more–not one that makes him groan in despair. I want them to care just as much about helping him in his personal development as they do about what grade he achieves.
Maybe what I’m searching for doesn’t exist. Wouldn’t that be sad? I’m not alone in having a child like Morgan–one who doesn’t fit the traditional “school mold”. Over the years I’ve met MANY similar stories and we all are in the same boat. Some have moved their restless kiddos from school to school, others have decided to homeschool and still others–like me–are beating our heads against a wall in hopes we can get our child through all this and have a productive and meaningful life.
I need to be confident that he and his brother are in best possible environment for them. I love that we live in a time when we do have so many choices. Sometimes that can seem overwhelming, but my hope is to not only find the best fit for my children, but to also be a resource for anyone else out there searching. I’ll keep you posted on my findings in the weeks ahead.
The following is a list of questions I plan to ask various schools that I compiled based on my own needs and those that others gave me input on. If you have anything to add, please leave a comment in the section below. My website requires that I monitor all comments, so don’t worry if yours doesn’t show up right away. It sometimes can take me few hours to get to it. I would greatly value any input you may have.
Questions for Schools:
1. Academic performance?
2. Opportunities for student leadership?
3. Conflict resolution programs?
4. Expectations regarding homework?
5. How school responds to certain behaviors specific to my child?
6. What schoolwide and classroom behavior management plans are implemented at the school?
7. How the school ensures that what is going on at school carries over into the home?
8. Ask if they take a strengths based approach (focusing on individual strengths of each child)?
9. Does the staff consider each individual child’s needs and help them fit those into school culture?
10. What services are available to support the entire family?
11. How many suspensions and expulsions and why?
12. Student to teacher ratio and class size?
13. Is parent involvement encouraged?
14. Behavior expectations in class and in school and consequences for disobedience?
15. What emphasis is placed on testing?
16. How do they grade?
17. How many breaks do they get and how long are recesses?
18. Core virtues taught?
19. Emphasis on foreign languages, history, science, music, etc?
20. Discipline policy?
21. What accommodations are available for kids who learn at a slower rate and advancement for kids that learn more quickly?
22. School security?